Top Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Student

Top Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Student

10. Well they let me out of prison last week, so I guess I’m qualified to talk to you about judicial law.

9. If you don’t stop throwing things in my class, I’m going to throw you out the window of the fifth floor.

8. How would you like it, if I chewed gum and left it under your books and papers?

7. Mr. Henry got so wasted last friday night, wanna see the pictures?

6. Ok guys, I don’t feel like teaching today... why don’t you teach me.

5. What chapter in the book are we on again?

4. So whatever you do, make sure you don’t accidently mix these two chemicals together, if you do, you’ll actually blow up the school.... $*#&%! (emphatic expletive)

3. So, let me tell you guys about my hot date with Bobby’s mother last night.

2. ... grumbling... You think you can cut my salary, and get away with it.... I’ll show them.... I’ll show them all... if I were you kid, I’d call in sick tomorrow.

1. Here’s a list of the common unsanitary elements you will find in cafeterias all over the world: salmonella, ebola virus, e-coli, not to mention the occasional finger being chopped off due to kitchen mishaps *Bell ring* Ok, class dismissed, enjoy lunch hour.

*Quick Disclaimer* Alright these are supposed to be fun, much like my original Top Ten list of things never to say to a Homesick Camper, and of course David Letterman / Johnny Carson's original top ten lists. I hope you enjoy them, along with the satirical humor.